Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
