Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
