whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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