For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I came so hard my ears popped.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
