the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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