I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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