dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
