dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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