I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize