One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she told me i tasted like america
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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