so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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