First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
