I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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