well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
