My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
