what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just puked most of my soul out..
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