Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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