I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
