Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
