she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
