And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
