I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
