i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
