I'm drive I can fine osifer
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
