Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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