half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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