So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
