my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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