Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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