I want to have your abortion
Best friends brother. Beat that.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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