there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
