Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
