So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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