Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
