Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Shame - the story of my life.
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