I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
