its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hippo gnu deer
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
