yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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