So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize