i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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