Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
