i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
