Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You were trust falling into bushes
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
