If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
