Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Even my vagina gasped.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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