Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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