Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
