I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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