so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
