Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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