Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
