i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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