dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize