I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
