I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
