the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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