so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
