Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
