Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
