I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Drake has all the answers
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
