oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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