Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
