if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
