jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
