what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
