Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
