I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
