lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize